Thursday, October 25, 2007

Canadians and Mr. B

Canadians, at least those specific to British Columbia are the worst drivers of all time. They drive very slow and they are very hesitant. I am a fairly patient driver, yet I feel like I am a Jersey driver compared to these bastards. They are pathetic. I doubt there has ever been a Canadian Formula One driver that was actually successful.

Canadians also seem to know everything that Canada has or is about...very similar to me and how I brag about stuff from Reading and Pennsylvania. A few specific ones that I know seem to believe that most of their cars come from Canada, made across the river from Detroit in Ontario. These specific Canadians also feel that most of the American oil is from Canada (which it may be) and this infuriates them because Canada gas prices are higher than Americans prices. They also know the exact amount of money that California owes British Columbia.

Canadians also put their curling results on the front page of the sports section...similar to the way Reading puts their MIBS tourney on the cover of the sports section and also includes duplicate bridge suggestions/results in the back.

I cannot really think of any other Canadian stories right now so here is a quick Mr. B (Bondarchuk) story. You may not enjoy this as much as I do.

So, last year Dylan and Mr. B were at World's and they were sitting on the Team Canada bus. Dylan noticed Robert Weir (a massive black man from the UK) walking toward the Canada bus because he saw Mr. B in the front seat and wanted to say hello. Robert Weir came on the bus and said, "Hey Mr. B, I am Robert Weir I am not sure if you remember me. It is great to see you."
Mr. B's response in his thick Russian accent was, "Yes, Yes, I remember...I remember...black face, I remember. Yes, I REMEMBER, black face. Black face. I remember black face." And Robert Weir gave an awkward look and left.

Dylan claims that he laid behind the seat laughing hysterically and Mr. B just looked at him perplexed, not knowing what Dylan was laughing about.

In other news, Vladimir Putin is doing a tremendous job of continuing to cement his stronghold of the new dictatorship in Russia. He is also doing well at slaughtering the Chechnyans and not allowing them to become a sovereign nation.

Gary Kasparov is doing a splendid job at making a fool out of himself...running for the Russian presidency and in the meantime making terrible jokes about Putin.

Mr. B also describes grown men as boys. I asked him...Do you know or like Alexander Karelin? (He was the big greco-roman wrestler that lost to Rulon Gardner.) His response, "Yes, Yes. I know who he is. Big Boy. Polar bear boy. Big muscles. Big boy, big boy. Good genetics and muscles. Very smart genius."

Training is going well. I will try and come up with a more exciting blog later.

5 comments:

Heinsy said...

Canadiens, lol

Christopher Foulds said...

Jacques Villenueve

Murder said...

I was hoping the "Mr. B" in this story would be SV choral instructor Mike Buterbaugh

Murder said...

Also please make a post about how you hate science so I can shit on you in the comments section

Dane Miller said...

I should have clarified that I do not believe any driver from BC could be very successful in pro racing...obviously, I am joking for the most part...Villenueve is from Quebec.