I am probably making this up but I swear I read that one of Confucius' philosophies is to call everything what it actually is. That is when government's came be completely truthful and society is honest with itself. For instance, back in the day we had the Department of War. Now, it is called the Department of Defense. Well, this is stupid because any war has both offensive and defensive aspects. Here are a few things I have thought about changing...
Police Officers/Law Enforcement: Perhaps the new force could be, "Prevention of Law Breaking." This is due to the fact that police officers patrol and hence are looking to prevent people from breaking laws.
Organic Vegetables or Fruit/Conventional Veggies or Fruit: Why is it designated as organic? Probably so the prices are raised. In reality, organic (meaning they are not sprayed with chemically based pesticides, most are still sprayed but with natural pesticides) should be called fruit or vegetables. Conventional veggies and fruit are normally called veggies or fruit but in reality they should be callled...."Chemically Sprayed, Cancer Causing Vegetables or Fruit."
Garden State Parkway: Let's face it, we all know New Jersey is not a Garden State and the parkway is not where you park but instead drive. I have thought that maybe the name could be changed to Suburban State Driveway...or Chemical Factory State Driveway. Something to that extent.
Circumcision: This one strikes close to home, haha. OK, so maybe circumcision actually means cutting of the foreskin or something to that effect (Moerder, language help please?). I think that when a couple gives birth to a new born son and the doctor asks if they would like the son to be circumcised, instead the doctor should say, "Excuse me, would you like your son's penis to be mutilated or unmutilated?" The new societal moniker would be penis mutilation.
Health Food Stores: I must admit, I am a sucker for health food stores and love going to them. But let's be honest, 75% of the products in these places are absolute crap. I guess it is similar to every other supermarket. It seems that every grocery store sells tons of crap. Anyway, back to the health food stores. These could be called, "Stores for people with more money than you." Or maybe, "Supplement stores for people who think modern medicine is bad yet take every 'natural' supplement known to mankind." Ok, so that one is a bit long. I am not the most creative of people.
Body Zone: The new name could be, "Creepy Zone: Where middle aged men gawk openly at women."
I am not the greatest with this game but I was hoping that some people could comment and make up their own examples of poorly named things in the world. I was going to go off on government names but decided that I rip on government too often.
In other news, Ron Paul received one third the amount of question that John McCain and Mitt Romney received in the California debate.
4 comments:
"Circumcidere" is Latin for "to cut around." Haha, I beat Moerder. You should know better and ask your SISTER for language help, douchebag.
PS: How dare you call my organic gummi worms complete crap. Just kidding, I don't eat those anymore. Often.
PPS: Copper said to send you some of his fartessence.
Should there really be an apostrophe in government, the way you are using it? I don't think so. Kai has taught me well! Although I really do like your 'word' for Body Zone. I'll have to keep thinking to come up with some good ones. I'm not creative either, obviously. Oh, wait! How about instead of Anton, it's "The Pain in the Neck, anyplace Pee-er."
Instead of "the game of global domination", Risk should be called "the game of sitting around rolling die in your parents' basement while drinking beers and screaming at each other."
Instead of badminton maybe Millerminton, or goodminton.
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